A Goofy Christmas (A parody of “A Visit From St. Nicholas)

Twas the night before Christmas
Where throughout the room
Not a sound could be heard
Except for KABOOM!!

The parents came rushing
From out of their beds
They opened the door
Grim looks on their heads

“What are you doing?!”
The father had yelled
Mother just grimaced
From the odor she smelled

The funniest sight
Was right in the middle
A smoldering boy
In a puddle of piddle

“I came down the stairs”
He started through cries
His parents just face-palmed
Through their heavy sighs

“Let me start guessing
“You wily young brat
“To open your gifts now
“To see that big fat–”

Mother slapped father
Right upside his dome
“He’s called Santa Claus
“At least in this home!”

“So anyway, honey
“Just tell us what happened
“But do tell us quickly
“Or dad’s mouth’ll start flappin’”

“Santa Claus is mean!
“He ridiculed me!
“He reached in his bag
“Got an RPG!!

“He slid in a rocket
“And started his rants,
“It was at this time
“That I soiled my pants.

“He fired a rocket
“That blew up in flames!
“He went up our chimney
“While calling me names!

“So that’s just what had happened”
The small, moist boy said
And with that he fainted
Landed right on his head

And so our tale ends here
With a moral in mind
Spend your life in the Arctic
You won’t be so kind


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