A Lament

How does one turn off their brain? How can I tell myself everything will be alright?
Today is supposed to be a day of celebration. It is Independence Day. I should be jovial, with friends and family, blowing up cardboard tubes and eating barbecue.
So why is it that I just want to curl up and cry?
I spend my days making sure others are alright. I distract their minds from their own troubles, and then, in turn, I distract myself. It’s during the holidays, however, that I crumble. Cascading like a house of cards in an electric fan showroom.
I should be able to just perk myself up, but it’s not working. I am feeling really low. I had fun this weekend. One of my best friends had his 29th birthday, we had Merica Day on Saturday. One of my other best friends ran a half marathon, for funsies, I suppose.
Why do I feel like this? Lonely, without being alone. It sucks.
Hopefully everyone has a pleasant day. Forget your troubles and enjoy yourselves. Happy Fourth.
I’ll be over here, trying to muster the energy to smile.

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