Crying In The Dark

So many things are going right now. So many things are the way they should be. Yet in all the successes, I feel empty. Cast adrift in the sea. Alone with my thoughts. I hate being alone with my thoughts. That’s where the pain is. That’s where it can come out. All the fears I tell people to let go of. All the pain I gladly take on, so others don’t have to. All the inadequacies and insecurities. All my failures. All the times that I should have done something differently, to be better. Better for me, better for you.
And so now I’m alone, wreathed in shadow as tears fall down my cheeks.
I just want others to be happy.
Why can’t I have that for myself?

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