Worries and Fears

I cannot let this beat me. Others are counting on me. I cannot falter. The pain in my head, the soreness of my shoulders, the ache in my neck, will all subside. I can bare this pain. I can take it on. I can take it all on, so long as I am not alone.
In the words of Ronan Harris;
I’m not alone, I’m not afraid, I’m not unhappy.
I can beat this depression, it will take time.
Though, I would gladly endure more, if it meant that someone else’s pain was gone.
I only want to help. In my neurosis, I am afraid that I am making things worse. Those that know me know that I mean well, but I am undoubtedly taxing. I know it will take time, and that the walls have been raised for a reason. I wish there was more that I could do.More to ease that pain. Not my own. That pain will ebb and return, like the tides. I am bound to that fate. Until there’s a cure. You don’t have that pain. Yours is temporary. It will fade. I am sorry if I become overbearing. My fear is that I shall drive you away. I’ve done that to too many. That’s not something I want. Ever. You are among my closest friends.
If I can make others happy, I can be happy. Those close to me should live lives pain free. No sorrow should make their bones ache. No overwhelming stress should stiffen their muscles. No strife should tax their mind. I’ll gladly add their burdens too my own. I am willing to take it on. Nobody should have to endure that on their own. I know, because I did. This pain and me, we’re old friends; Walking side by side.
Ever the poet, always dramatic. That’s me. Sigh.
This isn’t meant to be snarky. It’s not meant to instill guilt. I am merely venting in a way others can see, at their own leisure. There’s no rush
I’m very sorry too. You shouldn’t have had to deal with this pain. You’re so good for this world. You should not have to bear this alone. I am sorry if I make the passing harder. I only want to help, as I care more than you know. I always will. It’s my lot in life. I care so deeply about people, I don’t want them hurting.
I’ve rambled and pleaded enough. I should try to get some semblance of sleep.
Good night, sweet dreams, and no nightmares.


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