Depression Hurts

I’ve been feeling out of place, lately. My mind is constantly swimming with nostalgic thoughts and future thoughts. I can’t seem to keep it all straight. Even as I type this, on this bright Wednesday morning, tears are welling up in my eyes, as I get ready to cry for the umpteenth time in several hours. I didn’t sleep. I don’t sleep much anymore.
My father told me that he’s dying. This came as a shock, as he isn’t even 52 years old.
I was shown my flaws, my deepest faults by this man, and now he’s going to die, as I’m turning it around?!  He’ll die, thinking of his first born as a disappointment?!
I am a disappointment. I don’t drive. My siblings graduated before me TWICE! I’m broken physically and emotionally, as you can read on your right. I am unemployed.

And now, as quickly as it started, I’m calm again. That episode was, shall we say, intense.
What are my qualities? Let’s see.
I’m kind, almost to a fault. Polite. Intelligent (Almost spelled it wrong. That would’ve been embarrassing). Fiercely loyal. Any other qualities, others will have to tell. (Modesty, heh heh)

Dot dot dot. Can’t think of what to write, now. I had all sorts of things lined up in my head, not thirty minutes ago, but that may have been my mania.
If any of you get the chance to take on a mental disorder, pick schizophrenia. MDD and Depression SUCK!

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